Infidelity is a sensitive topic, and 50 percent of marriages will experience at least some level of infidelity during their marriage. I will discuss affair recovery. Half of the couples I work with in my private practice are recovering from infidelity and ask me for advice on “how to get over cheating.” However, let me define my terms before continuing.
What is affair recovery?
After infidelity, an affair is usually healed mentally, emotionally, and physically through affair recovery. For couples with humility, compassion, and tenacity, affair recovery is a painful but possible process that can take anywhere between six months and two years.
Affairs can range from emotional experiences to sexual matters. A passionate affair occurs when you develop an inappropriately close emotional attachment with someone other than your spouse.
An emotional affair usually ends in a sexual affair unless it is stopped. Sexual acquaintances, on the other hand, are when sexual contact between you and your partner.
Due to the attachment involved in emotional affairs, they are usually more challenging to break than one-night stands. When you have an emotional affair, you have formed a strong bond, which can be difficult to break. On the other hand, a one-night stand usually involves little attachment and is, therefore, much easier to break up with.
The number one thing that rocks the foundation of security in a relationship is infidelity. All forms of affairs are extremely damaging to marriages around the world. Infidelity destroys relationships no matter what language you speak, what color your skin is, what ethnicity you belong to, or what culture you come from, no matter what background you come from.
Because of the massive pain and loss of control, the betrayed partner often suffers from symptoms similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You can experience intrusive thoughts, irritability, panic attacks, flashbacks, and feeling numb. The following steps will help you heal your relationship.
Cease all contact
In order to stop the affair, you must cut off all contact with the other person. You may need to do one or more of these things, depending on your situation. For example, you might need to quit your job, relocate, switch churches, etc. The affair will linger if you don’t cut off all contact with the affair person.
Some people believe they can stop an affair while still remaining friends with the partner or seeing him or her occasionally. An affair is an addiction. As a result of things happening in your life and in your marriage, the feel-good chemicals in your brain were low. Then, this person met your needs and flooded your brain with those feel-good chemicals, which led to your addiction.
The same goes for affairs as any addiction, whether it’s heroin, cocaine, or whatever. If you get around it, you’ll fall back into it again. If you have an affair with somebody, that person has become your addiction, so you’re very likely to fall back into the affair if you come in contact with them at any level. Furthermore, each time you contact the affair person again, you will retraumatize your spouse, and you will not be able to heal your marriage.
Open all accounts
To prove you have lost touch with your lover, you must share all accounts and your phone with your partner. For couples without infidelity, this is also recommended to foster trust and transparency. In other words, it communicates I have nothing to hide. You must give up your phone whenever your spouse wants it. You have broken trust. You need to open up all accounts in order to reclaim that trust.
A secret account can be tempting at times. But if you really want your marriage to recover, keeping secrets is pointless. Your betrayed spouse will slowly start trusting you again if you turn it all over. Having broken trust and lied will make your word mean nothing at this point.
The most important thing is what you do. Being open with your partner and sharing your phone will help them begin to heal. Until they know that you are no longer in touch with your lover, they can’t begin the healing process. A wayward partner can also benefit from practicing openness because affairs thrive in secrecy. Therefore, if the affair cannot grow in secrecy, it will eventually die out.
Remember the two steps of offense if your partner refuses or is angry about sharing all accounts and their phone with you to prove they don’t have any contact with their lover anymore. To create social pressure, expose the affair to all your friends and family, and if that doesn’t work, separate until they do. If your partner is angry or resistant about sharing everything with you, it’s probably because they want to stay in touch with their lover and don’t want to end it.
When someone steps out of a marriage and has an affair, that’s 100% their fault. However, when it comes to the marriage climate which makes them vulnerable, it’s usually both partners’ fault.
The third step is to express sincere remorse. Once you’ve had an affair, you cannot recover unless you show sincere remorse. The third step is to express sincere remorse. Once you’ve had an affair, you cannot recover unless you show sincere remorse.
You betrayed your spouse even if you were unhappy, even if you did not receive the care you needed. Therefore, it is imperative that you take responsibility for how you have upset your marriage. You need to show heartfelt remorse for your affair. It will be very difficult for your partner to forgive you if you do not take responsibility for your affair and aren’t remorseful.
Love Guru Greg through his Art of Relationship have provided a way to recover from affairs. He give a clear sign that you can recover from it very easily. Love Guru Greg is passionate to announce his course Healing After An Affair – Self Study Program.